THE WARRIOR’S CODE OF HONOR
The “Warriors Code of Honor” has come to the attention of the Idaho Department of the Military Order
of the Purple Heart. Its author wishes to remain anonymous. We know this about him though – his experiences as an 18 year-old rifleman in an infantry rifle platoon of the U.S Army 7th Infantry Division in Korea and his experiences coming home led him to write this Code. He is also a Purple Heart Medal recipient and a life time member of both the Military Order of the Purple Heart (MOPH) and the Disabled American Veterans (DAV).

 The reason the Warrior’s Code of Honor is so important is because it needs to get out to as many Veterans as possible – especially those suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Currently 26 Purple Heart Medal Recipients, plus PTSD experts, testify that it helps combat veterans, Warrior’s currently serving, and their loved ones to read it.  Currently the Code is now being routinely handed out by the Veterans Administration in the greater Augusta Georgia area to Vets diagnosed with PTSD, with the National VA being petitioned to do so nation-wide. The same is true for the Augusta Wounded Warrior’s Care Project.  At Fort Gordon near Augusta the Code is being handed out to those awaiting discharge and to new recruits etc. with the Department of Defense (DOD) being petitioned to adopt it world-wide. 
          To verify the truth of these statements you are invited to visit the FEEDBACK FROM COMBAT VETERANS section immediately following the Warrior’s Code at www.militarycodeofhonor.com.

 The author’s reasons for writing the Code are as follows and in his own words and ought to sound very familiar to those of us who are Combat Veterans no matter what war we fought in. His reasons for writing it are as pertinent as the Code itself.

“I wrote it because my coming home expectation that things would be more or less the same was so unrealistic that it crashed and burned, along with my heart. This happened because:
          I had no idea that I was so emotionally numbed-up/shut down that I could not feel my feelings (how do you know you are emotionally damaged if you cannot feel your emotions?);

        I had no idea that I had changed so much that my High School friends would now be merely acquaintances;

         I had no idea that I came home an adrenaline junkie, which made me consider those who were not willing to do dangerous but thrilling activities, not OK people;

        The only people I wanted to relate to were other combat vets. It is a fact of life, however, that in virtually every social circle, the numbers of authentic combat veterans are few and none. This was true in my case; consequently there was nobody I wanted to talk to. The feeling of isolation, of being apart from anyone, of being alone in a crowd, made me consider myself deficient for being that way. I had no idea that my way of being was not unusual for a combat vet, but the usual. And so on. In short, coming home was hell for me.

Thanks to the G.I. Bill and multiple, simultaneous part-time jobs, I graduated from university and became a successful professional by day, and alcoholic and junkie by night. I was so happy burning the candle of my life at both ends that it was a real shock to discover – in a rare moment of self-honesty/self-awareness – I covertly contemplated suicide. I was stunned. I suddenly realized that I had to change my life or die.

I abandoned my profession and went native. I spent a year alone in the wilderness of Honey Island Swamp, vowing to stop stumbling thru life happy on the outside, but inside bowed over with guilt for living while friends died. I kicked “cold turkey” alcohol and drugs, and came out clean as a whistle. I have been that way ever since.

Over the years I often wished that I had read something like the Code to forewarn me what coming home might REALLY be like. So I sat down and tortuously, tearfully allowed the repressed coming home disappointments and the repressed combat demons hiding in the darkness of my gut to come out into the sunlight of awareness and be re-lived/suffered thru: 
          The first time I deliberately brought on this self-inflicted pain, I wound up crouching in a corner, head in arms, crying my heart out; 
          The second time I accomplished this dreaded act, I was able to remain seated, head on desk, crying;
          The third time I still felt pain, but less than before, and hardly cried at all.
And so on, each time the pain and tears getting less. 

All the while, something wondrous was slowly, imperceptibly, happening inside: 
          Waking up silently screaming, fighting for my life, occurred less and less:
          Thoughts of fallen friends hitting me in the heart, bending me over inside with grief and guilt, occurred less and less;
          Remembrances of how, during lulls in battle, I had longed and dreamed of coming home, only to discover in huge, shattering disappointment that home was no more -- I was a stranger visiting a ghost world -- occurred less and less.

Slowly the pain of these memories faded, and was replaced by growing calmness and tranquility when came thoughts of the past. 

In sum, these acts of self-inflicted pain and suffering enabled me to not only write the Code, but also to earn an ever-increasing degree of peace of mind.  This increase is still going on to this day, thus I can testify from personal experience that there is no top to the mountain of serenity.

 It is my life desire that my words will forewarn combat veterans about the danger of coming home with un-realistic expectations. If they return with realistic expectations, all will be well. If they do not, they will be in hell.

Ancient wisdom teaches that to be forewarned is to be forearmed. I came home un-forewarned, was thus unarmed, in hell, and bleeding – shot thru the heart by un-realistic expectations. And on that bloody hook, thereby hangs this tale.”

 

                                 THE WARRIOR’S CODE OF HONOR

 As a combat veteran wounded in one of America’s wars, I offer to speak for those who cannot. Were the mouths of my fallen front-line friends not stopped with dust, they would testify that life revolves around honor.
In war, it is understood that you give your word of honor to do your duty – that is – stand and fight instead of running away and deserting your friends.
When you keep your word despite desperately desiring to flee the screaming hell all around, you earn honor.

 Earning honor under fire changes who you are.
          The blast furnace of battle burns away impurities encrusting your soul.
          The white-hot forge of combat hammers you into a hardened, purified warrior willing to die
          rather than break your word to friends – your honor.

 Combat is scary but exciting.
          You never feel so alive as when being shot at without result
          You never feel so triumphant as when shooting back – with result.
          You never feel love so pure as that burned into your heart by friends willing to die to keep their
           word to you.
          And they do.

The biggest sadness of your life is to see friends falling.
The biggest surprise of your life is to survive the war.
Although still alive on the outside, you are dead inside – shot thru the heart with nonsensical guilt for living while friends died.
The biggest lie of your life torments you that you could have done something more, different, to save them.
Their faces are the tombstones in your weeping eyes, their souls shine the true camaraderie you search for the rest of your life but never find.

You live a different world now. You always will.
          Your world is about waking up night after night silently screaming, back in battle.
          Your world is about your best friend bleeding to death in your arms, howling in pain for you to
           kill him.
          Your world is about shooting so many enemies the gun turns red and jams, letting the enemy
          grab you.
          Your world is about struggling hand-to-hand for one more breath of life.

You never speak of your world.
Those who have seen combat do not talk about it.
Those who talk about it have not seen combat.

You come home but a grim ghost of he who so lightheartedly went off to war.
But home no longer exists
That world shattered like a mirror the first time you were shot at.
The splintering glass of everything you knew fell at your feet, revealing what was standing behind it – grinning death – and you are face to face, nose to nose with it!
The shock was so great that the boy you were died of fright.
He was replaced by a stranger who slipped into your body, a MAN from the Warrior’s World.
In that savage place, you give your word of honor to dance with death instead of run away from it.
This suicidal waltz is known as: “doing your duty.”

You did your duty, survived the dance, and returned home. But not all of you came back to the civilian world.
Your heart and mind are still in the Warrior’s World, far beyond the Sun.  They will always be in the Warrior’s World. They will never leave, they are buried there.
In that hallowed home of honor, life is about keeping your word.

People in the civilian world, however, have no idea that life is about keeping your word.
They think life is about ballgames, backyards, barbecues, babies and business.
The distance between the two worlds is as far as Mars from Earth.
This is why, when you come home, you feel like an outsider, a visitor from another planet.
You are.

Friends try to bridge the gaping gap.
It is useless. They may as well look up at the sky and try to talk to a Martian as talk to you. Words fall like bricks between you.
Serving with Warriors who died proving their word has made prewar friends seem too un-tested to be trusted – thus they are now mere acquaintances.
The hard truth is that earning honor under fire makes you a stranger in your own home town, an alien visitor from a different world, alone in a crowd.

The only time you are not alone is when with another combat veteran.
          Only he understands that keeping your word, your honor, whilst standing face to face with death gives meaning and purpose to life.
          Only he understands that your terrifying – but thrilling – dance with death has made your old world of backyards, barbecues and ballgames seem deadly dull.
          Only he understands that your way of being due to combat damaged emotions is not un-usual, but the usual, and you are OK.

A common consequence of combat is adrenaline addiction.
Many combat veterans – including this writer – feel that war was the high point of our lives, and emotionally, life has been downhill ever since.
This is because we came home adrenaline junkies. We got that way doing our duty in combat situations such as:
          crouching in a foxhole waiting for attacking enemy soldiers to get close enough for you to start shooting;
          hugging the ground, waiting for the signal to leap up and attack the enemy;
          sneaking along on a combat patrol out in no man’s land, seeking a gunfight;
          suddenly realizing that you are walking in the middle of a mine field.

Circumstances like these skyrocket your feelings of aliveness far, far above and beyond anything you experienced in civilian life:
          never have you felt so terrified – yet so thrilled;
          never have you seen sky so blue, grass so green, breathed air so sweet, etc.; because dancing with death makes you feel stratospheric – nay – intergalactic aliveness.

Then you come home, where the addictive, euphoric rush of aliveness/adrenaline hardly ever happens – naturally, that is.
Then what often occurs? “Quick, pass me the motorcycle” (and /or fast car, drag race, speedboat, airplane, parachute, big game hunt, extreme sport, fist fight, gun fight, etc.)

 Another reason Warriors may find the rush of adrenaline attractive is because it lets them feel something rather than nothing. The dirty little secret no one talks about is that many combat veterans come home unable to feel their feelings. It works like this.
          In battle, it is understood that you give your word of honor to not let your fear stop you from doing your duty. To keep your word, you must numb up/shut down your fear.
          But the numb-up/shut-down mechanism does not work like a tight, narrow rifle shot; it works like a broad, spreading shot gun blast. Thus when you numb up your fear, you numb up virtually all your other feelings as well.
          The more combat, the more fear you must “not feel.” You may become so numbed up/shut down inside that you cannot feel much of anything. You become what is know as “battle-hardened,” meaning that you can feel hard feelings like hate and anger, but not soft, tender feelings (which is bad news for loved ones).
          The reason that the rush of adrenaline, alcohol, drugs, dangerous life style, etc. is so attractive is because you get to feel something, which is a step up from the awful deadness of feeling nothing.

Although you walk thru life alone, you are not lonely.
You have a constant companion from combat – Death.
It stands close behind, a little to the left.
Death whispers in your ear; “Nothing matters outside my touch, and I have not touched you…YET!”
Death never leaves you – it is your best friend, your most trusted advisor, your wisest teacher.
          Death teaches you that every day above ground is a fine day.
          Death teaches you to feel fortunate on good days, and bad days…well, they do not exist.
          Death teaches you that merely seeing one more sunrise is enough to fill your cup of life to the
          brim – pressed down and running over!
          Death teaches you that you can postpone its touch by earning serenity.

Serenity is earned by a lot of prayer and acceptance.
Acceptance is taking one step out of denial and accepting/allowing your repressed, painful combat memories to be re-lived/suffered thru/shared with other combat vets – and thus de-fused.
Each time you accomplish this dreaded act of courage/desperation:
          the pain gets less;
          more tormenting combat demons hiding in the darkness of your gut --
which you can feel but cannot language because they are out of sight down below the level of your awareness --- are thrown out into the healing sunlight of awareness, thereby disappearing them;
          the less bedeviling combat demons, the more serenity earned.

Serenity is, regretfully, rather an indistinct quality, but it manifests as an immense feeling of fulfillment/satisfaction:
          from having proven your honor under fire;
          from having demonstrated to be a fact that you did your duty no matter what;
          and from being grateful to Higher Power/your Creator for sparing you.
It is an iron law of nature that such serenity lengthens life span to the max.

Down thru the dusty centuries it has always been thus.
It always will be, for what is seared into a man’s soul who stands face to face with death never changes.

 
                                               WRITER’S  NOTE (1)

 This work attempts to describe the world as seen thru the eyes of a combat veteran. It is a world virtually unknown to the public because few veterans can talk about it.
          This is unfortunate since people who are trying to understand, and make meaningful contact with combat veterans, are kept in the dark.
          How do you establish a rapport with a combat veteran? It is very simple. Demonstrate to him out in the open in front of God and everybody that you too have a Code of Honor – that is, you also keep your word – no matter what!

Do it and you will forge a bond between you.
Do it not and you will not.
End of story. Case closed.

I offer these poor, inadequate words – bought not taught – in the hope that they may shed some small light on why combat veterans are like they are, and how they can fix it.

 It is my life desire that this tortured work, despite its many defects, may yet still provide some tiny sliver of understanding which may blossom into tolerance – nay, acceptance – of a Warrior’s perhaps unconventional way of being due to combat-damaged emotions from doing his duty under fire.

                                     Signed, a Purple Heart Medal recipient who wishes to remain anonymous
                                                                                                       Dedicated to absent friends in unmarked graves.


 Respectfully written and submitted by;
Pete Oakander [poakander@msn.com]
Commander of Chief Joseph Chapter 509 of the Military Order of the Purple Heart – Boise, Idaho
Charter Member of American Legion Post 39 – Middleton, Idaho
Yours in Patriotism

                     
                                                            CONTACT

The writer welcomes comments/feedback on the Warrior’s Code of Honor.  They may be emailed to 10625@cox.net.            
(last revised 5/17/12  5:00 PM)                                     

                          COMMENTS/FEEDBACK FROM COMBAT VETERANS
In chronological order. Writer's name withheld. Material in brackets (  ) supplied by writer.("In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.  Jose Narosky)

1)  Sep 24, 2006. (material in brackets supplied by writer) Thank you – what a great piece of literature, I read it three times before I forwarded it to all 185 e-mail addresses in our MOPH chapter (MOPH = Military Order of the Purple Heart).  Thanks again. Semper Fi., John Cooney, MSgt, USMC – retired.  Member of MOPH Chapter #642. [jcooney@ec.rr.com].  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 2) Sep 24, 2006.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) Thanks for the website and I’ll make distribution of The Warrior’s Code at our next meeting.  If you reside in the Mountain Home, AR area we’d certainly encourage you to attend our meetings.  Yours in Patriotism, John R. Kopacz, 3rd Bn. 4th Marines, various locations in & out of Nam DMZ 1966/1967. Adjutant of MOPH Chapter #581. (email address withheld at sender's request.  Direct all requests to verify this email to Adjutant, MOPH Chapter #581 @ VFW Chapter #3246, 7th & Grey Sts, Mountain Home, AR 72653 ). Purple Heart Medal recipient.

3) Sep 26, 2006.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) What a powerful message and only a combat fire tested Veteran can understand the spoken and unspoken words, so eloquently framed.  YIP (yours in patriotism), I will treasure the inspirational words as I attempt to convince my fellow combat wounded Veterans of the need to reach out to others of our Brotherhood. I look forward to meeting you some day.  Thank you and God bless you.  E. Leon Thomas (Medic nicknamed "The Doc with the long barrel pistol" for his habit of charging enemy troops shooting an enormous handgun). Infantry Company C, 8th Cav Reg., 1st Cav Division, Korea - 1951. Commander of MOPH Department of California. [ETHOMAS3@bak.rr.com]. Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 4)  Sep 26, 2006. I received the poem/story.  Very nice.  I have forwarded that to our local (MOPH) Chapter members and our Department – statewide – Commander.  What chapter did you join?  We certainly need people like you in our effort to continue serving our fellow veterans and our communities.  Very best of luck.  Steven D. Giroux, 25th Infantry Division.  Sr. Vice Pres. MOPH Chapter #568 [sgirou@hotmail.com].  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

5)  Sep 26, 2006.  Thanks for the wonderful expression of the thoughts of a combat veteran.  Too bad all our fellow Patriots' families can't read it.  I want to tell you how much I appreciate what you have been doing.  You are right that ONLY combat wounded veterans can truly understand the meaning of our Code of Honor.  Our camaraderie is hard to explain to anyone who was not there.  Have a blessed day.  Joe Kovar, rifleman, E Company, 101st Reg., 26th Div., France June 1944 thru Battle of Bulge all the way across Germany liberating extermination camps, etc., to meet the Russians coming from the other way 1945.  Bronze Stars with V for Valor, member of MOPH.  [papakov@comcast.net ].  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

6) Sep 28, 2006.  I have mixed emotions about the article. It is right on point as far as my personal experiences are concerned but I have a tremendous "guilt" feeling about surviving. My particular unit took very heavy casualties and very few of us came "home". My "Welcome Home" to the states was less than pleasant and those memories are buried deep in my mind.  (From Open Discussion Section [since deleted], anonymous, no bio).

7) REPLY BY WRITER Sep 28, 2006. Thanks for sharing. Your guilt feelings are quite normal. I too was burdened down with survivor's guilt.
     What puzzled me was that my so-called "guilt" was so nonsensical. Hell, instead of being guilty of being inadequate in combat, my buddies seemed to think I was more or less OK.  No matter, I was still "guilty" in my mind of not doing something more, different to save them.
     Believe me my fellow combat veteran, this is the biggest lie of your life. Keep sharing your so-called "guilt." Each time you do it disappears a little.
With respect, the writer.

 8) Sep 30, 2006.  Thank you for this. Although it well warrants being printed, framed, engraved, etched in stone and displayed for all to see, it will probably remain among the few who really understand the message it conveys.  Yours in patriotism, Tim Armstrong. B5/7 1st Air Cav Div Nam 68-69. Member of MOPH L22751 [tim-jerri@gci.net].Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 9) Oct 20, 2006.  I was a machine gunner in Viet Nam in 1966-67 with the 5th bn 7th cav.  I lost my ammo barrier the first fire fight, and lost my asst gunner in 1967.  I was wounded Oct 4th 1967.  Pain is hell, got back problems now and got to wait to get help through the VA but it is slow.  I still have problems and still go to PTSD group to help me out or I’d be homeless and have nothing and no one cares.  75 cents and all your medals will buy you a cup of coffee. 
         You are doing a great job.  I gave the Warrior’s Code to all the members of the PTSD group that I attend and they think it is real.  I KNOW it real because I was there, but we got to talk about some of these things with other vets to help the healing process.  Little by little it helps to talk things out and not feel guilty of the things that happened, we are still all suffering a loss of one kind or another.  We all stick together and help each other out when in need, or just to talk.  Robert D. Wagner, 5th bn 7th cav. Nam 1966-67. Adjutant MOPH Chapter 679, Jr. Vice Commander MOPH Department of Idaho, [rdw1@cableone.net].  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

10) Oct 21, 2006. The Warrior’s Code is a marvelous work.  There's real truth in practically every line of it.  I was a Scout with the 25 Infantry Division in Korea.  My closest comrade in my squad ultimately died of his injuries when we were closely struck by artillery fire. 
     I have to say that the day in and day out stress was a life changing occurrence for me as indicated in the "CODE".  I have never been able to return to making music as I could prior to that war.  There is just not much of an attention span since.  God Bless and keep our soldiers. Truly, they will never come home the same.  E. Riggs, Bn Scout, 1st Bn, 14th Reg, 25th Infantry Division, Korea.  Member of MOPH Chapter 568, Oklahoma City. [eriggs4@cox.net]. Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 11) Oct 26, 2006 Viet Nam Veteran

“Try to understand”
If he stays home alone,
and doesn't like to hear the phone
If he won't answer the door,
'cause he doesn't want to see anyone anymore.

 "Try to understand"
If nighttime is something to dread,
and his sleep is restless and fleeting in bed,
If he quietly gets up in the night,
so as not to disturb your pleasant respite.

"Try to understand"
If he becomes nervous and jumps around,
at unexpected movement or a sudden sound.
If he sits in a restaurant with his back to the wall,
because he can't have anyone behind him at all.

"Try to understand"
If he shows no fear and wouldn't turn if he could,
that part of him has gone that says you should.
If his anger seems quick and extreme,
He's only trying to control intense emotions unseen.

"Try to understand"
If he seems emotionless and indifferent some days,
And perhaps he just says "Go Away!"
If he becomes depressed and may seem unkind,
He is only trying to spare you the agony in his mind.

"Try to understand"
If his mood changes and alters
and he becomes unsure and often falters,
If he becomes sad and stares into space,
He has only gone to some other place.

"Try to understand”
…..Because he can't……..

A vet's cry for help.
By David Pye, ADF, Viet Nam veteran.
(Supplied by a third party, who requested anonymity, code name K).

12) WRITER'S FEEDBACK TO K Sep 26, 2007.  Dear K, you may be happy to learn that I am getting a lot of positive feedback re: David Pye's Poem “Try to understand” that you sent me to post to the website.  Mostly wives, mothers and children who are at first shocked/stunned, then grateful.  the writer.

13) Sep 26, 2007 K’s feedback to writer.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) I am thrilled that you published David’s poem and even happier to hear that people are reading it and that it helps.  It certainly spoke volumes to me.  I actually had a person I know “calligraphize” - I know, I made that word up - it on a piece of parchment-like paper, and I gave it to my wife of 20+ years.  After much crying and hugging me..(for the explanation of) some of the small quirks that..(I) had shown over the years, such as the seat at a restaurant table that is against the wall, with a full view of the room.  “Why does..(he) always sit there?”  You do a great service with your website there, bro.  Keep on keepin’ on and know that it is appreciated by many.  Be well.  God bless you and yours.  Hold fast- K.  USMC Viet Nam, member of MOPH.  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

14) Oct 30, 2007.  I am the wife of a Vietnam veteran, and I identified with all the author wrote through my life with my husband.  I just want to say thanks for this piece.  It is very well written and expressed!   It is what the public needs to hear to know what war is.  The only way people can understand combat and its results is through the print and speaking of the troops and the veterans.
     Thanks. Peace, Bunkie. (from open discussion section [since deleted].  No ID or bio).

 15) Nov 17, 2007   I would like to say "Thank You" to the author. While I do not consider myself a true combat veteran -- only under mortar and rocket fire from the safety of a sandbagged signal van -- I feel it speaks much about those who I consider my brothers who placed their lives and limbs in harms way -- for each other if for no other reason -- and especially to those of 5th SFG who did so across the wire. SGT E-5, NAM June 1968-July 1970 54th Sig. BN. Nha Trang, Danang, Banmethout CCS. (From Open Discussion Section [since deleted], anonymous).

16) Nov 26, 2007. The Warrior’s Code is moving and Grimly True -- too bad Hollywood is not tuned in to it. The overwhelming feeling I have sometimes is sadness for the deaths of the brave soldiers then my age – 19 -- and wonder at my survival -- why me? Best patriotic regards, Charlie, former Pfc. Mortar Squad, Co. C, 32nd Inf. Regiment, 7th Infantry Division, WWII.  Member of MOPH. Cpg8103@netscape.net.  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

17) Nov 28, 2007.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) My thanks to the author for putting into words what so many of us feel. My only addition would be that you don't have to wear the Purple Heart to qualify for the Warrior's Code of Honor.  Most who wear that badge of honor are truly deserving, while some who wear it are doing so less than honorably.  I was fortunate to serve in Vietnam as an Infantryman for 24 months and not be wounded severely enough to seek the Purple Heart. And it was not for a lack of opportunity since in addition to my CIB (Combat Infantryman’s Badge) I also received Silver Stars and Bronze Stars with V device (V for valor).  My point is that there are many of us who do not wear the Purple Heart who are as touched by and relate to this wonderful piece of prose as any others.  My thanks to the author and (thanks from) all of the many Warriors from many conflicts for who you are and what you did. Others will never understand. (From Open Discussion Section [since deleted]anonymous, no bio).

18) REPLY BY WRITER  Dec 1, 2007.  Thank you for your kind words about The Warrior's Code.  I was particularly moved when you said you were "not wounded severely enough to seek the Purple Heart."   Man O Man can I relate to that!  I have never seen this topic discussed anywhere, much less stated in such a beautifully well-crafted way. Thank you for sharing. the writer

 19) Dec 25/2007.   (material in brackets supplied by writer) I'll tell no stories of war; I've no need to testify on behalf of the pain of dedication displayed by Warriors. I'll only signify that I understand, at the deepest level of my body, mind, and spirit, that war does change one when death becomes an intimate. 
     I will tell you now, at the start of this letter, that there is a hope out there. That I re-found my faith and belief in God and my fellows, and in myself. But that journey was a long one.
     I'll instead say that I too wandered in the always ready, check your weapons and ammo mode for many years. I never entered a store, restaurant, movie theater or bar without scoping out the back door and what could I hide behind, if... always the "if". Regardless of the reality of the situation, I had to be always ready to react to threats.
     See, it's that "What if..." that grinds you down (into PTSD). It's about ALWAYS being ready for the threat that deadly won experience tells me is around the bend. It is a mind set rooted in fear. 
     But such a thing cannot be, for you are a Warrior, like it or not, understand it or not. Some acknowledge the fear; some resolutely turn their minds from it, but all who struggle and fight in deadly earnest are forever molded by the things that HAD to be done to survive. 
     I lived that you see, for far too long, trying to ignore the root cause of my discontent. In avoiding the pain, and the fear, the loss and grief, I ignored the beauty, wonder, and peace that surrounded me if I could but see it. 
     I lost my faith in God and even worse, in myself.
     But I was lucky. Others had been there before me and I was fortunate to find a group of men who understood.  I'll tell you that through the grace of God, a lot of therapy with other vets at our local County Vet Center, a stint at the National Center for Post Traumatic Stress -- at Menlo Park, California -- a lot of prayer and hard work, something changed. That something is, sorrowfully, rather an indistinct quality. 
     But it manifests as a sense of honor, a sense of acceptance and gratitude.
     Warriors are, in my experience, more sensitive than most men after the deadly shadow has passed over them. Sensitive in a way that seems almost instinctive, that sees their fellow man as an individual.   But when faced with the reality of bodies, blood, pain and violent death, when you, the living, must deal with those, the dead, that sensitivity must hide so that it can survive.
     Things will never return to "...how they were", you cannot stuff the genie back into the bottle. You must learn to live with it.
     But one can regain their sense of honor and gratitude. Again, I hesitate to give advice for I am an expert in only one case; mine. But I have seen others who have found that their dedication to their country, their Corps, themselves and to God, can be regained. I was told "Acceptance is the key". This simple phrase holds a vast field of understanding, but it is not an easy one to understand.
     There is a path back to the joy of living. It's twisted and dark sometimes, but with patience and help one can find the way back to joy (serenity).
     I'm rambling here, it's 3 AM and my wife is sleeping, the house is quiet, and I am probably not making too much sense. May God bless you, hang in there, allow yourself all benefit of doubt, and thank you all.  John Wagner, once L/CPL "Wags", 2nd Force Recon '67, 1st Air Delivery Plt. '67-'69, Vietnam, #2298163.  Purple Heart Medal recipient. 

 20)  REPLY BY WRITER  Dec 26, 2007   Dear John, I was stunned when you said the result all your hard work upon yourself manifested "as a sense of honor, a sense of acceptance and gratitude," which I call "serenity." 
     All I can say is ME TOO!  I also found a sense of honor, a sense of acceptance,  gratitude to God and serenity-- after years of intense work on myself 24/7.  
     Your awesome letter should be framed, engraved, etched in stone and displayed for all combat vets to see, but will probably remain among the few who really understand the message it conveys. 
     I will do my best to publicize it at every opportunity.  the writer 

(Many of my words of appreciation are lifted from Tim Armstrong, number 8 above.  Thanx Tim, you said it better than I can.  Also thank you John Wagner for your inspiring message.   I have also used some of your timeless words/phrases elsewhere because you are a hell of a lot better writer than I am.  the writer.)

21)  Jan 28, 2008  It is an honor to know you.  The Code of Honor is beautiful, and so true.  I think you and I connect, as veterans do, who indeed have been there/done that, for we followed that path of honor and devotion to duty.  Our word meant more to us than any amount of gold. 
Gary Jacobson.  Combat infantryman, B Co 2nd/7th 1st Air Calvary `66-`67, LZ Bet. Phan Thiet, Vietnam. This is the same unit depicted in the Mel Gibson movie, "We Were Soldiers," one year later.  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

22)  REPLY BY WRITER  Jan 29, 2008  Dear Gary, I like your description of our combat infantryman's word of honor, to wit:  "Our word meant more to us than any amount of gold." 
      I never thought of it in terms of gold, but you are right -- keeping our word to friends, our honor, under fire IS the chain of gold that bonds you and me together.
     Civilians cannot see this chain and have NO IDEA such a thing exists, consequently they will NEVER understand why we did not do the "smart thing" and run away from the screaming hell all around.  I will now attempt to language what happened to me in combat:

     I was an 18 year old kid who died in combat when a stranger slipped into my body,
a MAN from a different world where you keep your word of honor to stand and fight
instead of running away like you desperately desire to do. 
This suicidal custom is known as:
“Doing your duty.”

In closing, I have visited both your websites:  "I'm no hero"@Dedicated hero's chair; Vietnam Picture & Poetry tour@namtour.com; and found them magnificent.  They languaged some of the combat demons hiding in the darkness of my gut, which hurled them out into the sunlight of awareness, making my crushing load of PTSD a little lighter.  Thank you.  the writer.

 23) Apr 18, 2009.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) Veterans are hesitant to talk because:
      Unless you have experienced- 1. hunger - C's - (C rations); 2. thirst; 3. fatigue; 4. sleep deprivation; 5. heat; 6. cold; 7. no baths, showers; 8. Same clothes for days; all unending, it is not in their frame of reference – understanding - so why talk to them?  All of us (veterans) have something to say that is screaming on the inside of us. 
     The Warrior's Code says it. 

     Each and every veteran can add a paragraph. I see a lot of young men who are seeking to prove their manhood with caps, tattoos, sports jerseys, body piercing, etc. I want to tell them, "The real men are in the army-navy-etc. There you can show the world that you are a man."
LTC Fred Rosenbaum, Retired, former Commanding Officer, A Co, 1st Batt, 2nd Infantry, wounded in Tet Offensive Viet Nam 1968.   Combat Infantryman’s Badge, Career recognition of 14 awards and decorations, Member of MOPH Chapter 744.  flrosenbaum@suddenlink.net.
Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 24)  Apr 25, 2009.  (material in brackets supplied by writer)  After reading the Code I know what you are saying.  People don’t know what its like unless you have been there and done that.  I tried to tell a person one day when he asked what happened to me (how I got wounded).  I told him we came under fire and I felt like during the fight that God put his hand over me and my pal setting next to me in a bunker.
      I picture it as God’s fingers on the ground, and us in a cup type of formation, and He said “son, you and Joe are a little banged up (wounded) but you will be okay,” looking at his hand as he left, and it was bleeding..  
     Joe and I were scared, but we had to take care of another fire support base next to us.  They took more rounds than we did but we stopped that, even after (our own) people kept yelling "don’t shoot."  We asked, what do we do, just sit here and let those other Warriors lose their life?
     Well this may not make sense, but there is not a day that passes that I don’t think about that moment, it happened in the blink of and eye, but it will be with me till I die.  Bill Melton, member of MOPH, 5th 27th Field Artillery Fire Support Base Brenda near Phang Rang; Song Mol; Phan Theit; Viet Nam, 1969-1970 [namvetmelton@cox.net]. Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 25)  1/29/08
From: Tobias Naegele [mailto:tnaegele@atpco.com]
To: (writer's name withheld)
Did you write The Warrior’s Code of Honor yourself? 
I thought it very well done and would like to know more about you and your experience. 
We might be interested in giving this far greater exposure.  Thank you, 
Tobias Naegele 

Tobias Naegele • Editor in Chief  • Army Times Publishing Co.
Army Times • Navy Times • Air Force Times • Marine Corps Times 
• Defense News • Federal Times • Armed Forces Journal
• Training & Simulation Journal • C4ISR Journal 
Office: (703) 750-8620 • Fax: (703) 750-8683


                                            WRITER’S NOTE (2)

The FEEDBACK FROM COMBAT VETERANS section of this website was shut down on
April 25, 2009 because I thought that feedback from 14 Purple Heart Medal recipients was enough.  I was wrong.  Many vets email me that the feedback from other vets is helpful.  Thus due to popular demand the feedback section is open again. the writer.

26) April 6, 2012  To the writer of the Warrior's Code.  Are you still out there?  I'm curious as the comments on your site stopped at 4/25/2009.  I would think that plenty of we Warrior combat veteran's would have plenty to add regarding our experiences.  Your writing is extremely poignant.  I saw myself all the way through.  Bravo Zulu as we Navy sailors say.
          I served with the Mobile Riverine Force - Task Force 117 as a Radioman/Machine gunner.  We moved U.S. 9th Infantry Division, Vietnamese Marine Corps (VNMC), South Vietnamese Army(ARVN), South Vietnamese Regional Forces, and Popular Forces (RF/PF) and slugged it out at close range with the VC/NVA all throughout the III & IV Tactical Zones.  Time Magazine spoke of our casualty rate that hovered around 70%.  Lots of wounded due to RPG and Recoilless Rifle fire.  I had many close calls, but was never wounded.  
With Great Respect,
Mike Harris (RM2) River Assault Squadron 15 River Assault Division 152 Boat: T-152-1
 July 68 to July 69
Personal: http://www.riverinesailor.com
 Business: http://www.legaciesofhonor.org
 Webmaster: http://www.mrfa.org
 Webmaster: http://www.pointman101.org

               REPLY BY WRITER April 7, 2012  Hi Mister Mike, as we say here in New Orleans. Thank you for your interesting and well-written email.  First of all, after reading about your fascinating experience (what a sight it must have been to see those RPGs coming at you), it is not my, but OUR Warrior’s Code. I wrote it because my coming home expectation was that things would be more or less the same. This expectation was so unrealistic that it crashed and burned, along with my heart.  
            I invite you to make our Code more helpful.  I would be honored if you would help our fellow combat vets and their loved ones by emailing me your feedback to post to the website.  I am of the opinion that if you spoke more about your combat experience, it would not only be an awesome read, but in addition, give other combat vets permission to share more completely than they have done so far on TWC website.  This may help free them from the repressed combat demons hiding in the darkness of their gut that they cannot talk about.  You know yourself that most cannot talk about it AT ALL, which is killing their quality of life.. 
Yours in Patriotism, the writer (name withheld).

           REPLY BY MIKE HARRIS  April 7, 2012.  Hello Brother.  First, I am very pleased that you are now adding new comments to your website.  It is vital and needed.  Your/our Warrior’s Code (TWC) has been, and will be, very helpful to many if you can get it out into the open.  Especially if you continue to offer more and varied Warrior comments.  I am sure that it will catch fire.  I am confident that the new comments will meld with the old and reach the hearts of thousands upon thousands of Warriors.  It does not matter if we fought in WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan, the WTC is the "cake".  The Warrior comments are the "icing".   The more TWC spreads the more input you will all receive.  Warriors will be able to pour their hearts out in the midst of other Warriors who speak the same language. 

It was indeed quite a sight to watch a Viet Cong soldier stand up, shoulder his launcher, take his time and then fire directly at my boat from about 75 yards.  My weapon was not handy.  I can still see the puff of black smoke that came out of the tube.  The rocket came in slow motion.  It missed me by about 6' and our mini-flight deck by about 6".  It knocked down a palm tree beside us.  I could feel the heat from the rocket.  The Lieutenant asked where it came from.  I guided our Zippo Boat to the exact area and they hosed it down with napalm.  Some grunts went in to investigate and there were two dead VC in the spider hole.  A very close call.  If the rocket would have been that 6" lower I would have been dead or very seriously wounded along with some of my crewmates and the Vietnamese Marines we had just extracted. Thus, I agree with one of the posters to TWC website, number 17, that one doesn't need to be wounded in order to understand and be a part of TWC. 

I have been an accredited Veteran Service Representative (VSR) with Vietnam Veterans of America (VVA) for many years now.  All of my representation has been done here in my "Bunker" in my home because I cannot sit in an office out in public without becoming severely stressed due to PTSD.  I have witnessed PTSD in veterans from WWII to Iraq/Afghanistan.  PTSD shows zero bias.  It will strike a PFC the same way as a PhD.  Some combat Warriors feel that their more sustained combat should have greater emphasis than someone who was in the rear.  I tell them that one rocket or one mortar can create a lifetime of PTSD.  I have also noted that a lot of veterans suppress their known or unknown PTSD during their working years and then it begins to ooze out once they have more time on their hands to think about it.  

We cannot expect a non-Warrior to get it.  We combat veterans speak a language that only other Warriors can fully understand.  That is why the Comment Section is so profoundly valuable. Other Warriors simply add additional context and dimension to the Code. 

Like you, my homecoming was strange too.  When we landed at Travis AFB I literally got down on my hands and knees and kissed the tarmac.  Then as I was walking towards the terminal I turned to see what the noise was to my left.  Protesters had the front gate plugged up and they were flying the Viet Cong (VC) and North Vietnamese Army (NVA) flags.  Then our officers told us to change into civilian clothes and try to blend in.  I was very confused.  We'd survived a year in combat and now we were supposed to hide?!  Not this guy. 
With great respect, "Mister Mike."
Mike Harris [mekong152@charter.net]

27) April 07, 2012  (material in brackets supplied by writer) Christ man, where have you been?
I am also a Purple Heart Medal recipient, an ex-marine who was in country (Viet Nam) in 1965-66.  I didn't have a clue until I read your thesis (Warrior’s Code) and can now understand what has been going on with my life, or rather living death. Thanks Bro, if you are USMC, Semper Fi! I am going to distribute your words to some of my people. Thank you!  Allan By God, Rodgers [mailto:stdmuff@gmail.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

 28)  April 7, 2012   I don't know the person who wrote the Warrior’s Code, but what he say's is true.  It is so very well expressed and common to the feelings of those who have served in actual combat and seen hell.  I was with Delta Co. 1/7, First Mar Div. 69-70, and served with heroes who never intended to be heroes.  All were just doing whatever was necessary to give more than they had.  They didn't hesitate to give their all if their actions might save a buddy or remove the threat at the root...our enemy.  We never get over the loss of our friends, or as near as I can tell 42 years later, the memories.
          Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel "normal" again.  I've learned to get thru many of these things with the love and support of family and friends.  The nightmares went away, the adrenaline rush has faded, as has the survivor’s guilt.  I used to beat myself up, wondering what more could I or should have done.  I'm now at rest, trusting that I did all I could at that time.
        I am the most angry when I see negative treatment to any veteran.  I can't grasp why the Korean and Viet-Nam troops are still either forgotten or pushed aside.  I am referring to ads about THE NEXT GENERATION HONORS being directed at the Veterans of the present War on Terror, completely skipping over the forgotten Warriors of Korea -- who fought a horrible war in horrible conditions -- and again skipping past the Viet-Nam Vets, which was my war. I go to 1/7 reunions, and am still in touch with all of the men of the company we can find.  I work as a volunteer at Young Marines, etc., to help out.  Semper fi, Patrick Keally.  USMC 1968-1981. [devildogpatrick@gmail.com]  Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 29) April 7, 2012   (material in brackets supplied by writer) Thank you my friend.  You have put into words what I have searched for these many years.  I know where you are coming from and what you are trying to explain.  Even though I did get lucky and not get wounded, I did go through (all) the rest.  May God watch over you and let you continue to talk over your left shoulder (to your best friend death) for as long as you want.  Gunny U.S.M.C. Vietnam 70-71 [mailto:gunny1947usmc@yahoo.com]
30) April 7, 2012.  Thank you for putting into words my feelings since Viet Nam.  Mike (doc) Baron.  Corpsman 1/43 mardev Mar 66 to Dec 67. [mailto:HMCSDV@aol.com]

31) April 8, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) When I read your essay (Warrior’s Code), it was like your mind and my own were in one accord.  I kept shaking my head in concurrence with this exceptional writing effort of yours, which those thoughts about combat, brotherhood, trust, and many others all have been racing about my brain-housing group for forty-four years.  
            I am going to send this (Warrior's Code) on to my wife, and our two adult children in hopes that doing such will provide for them a greater understanding of their husband and father. 
            A short bio follows, about my USMC Service, and my physical and mental health.
Vietnam tour served with Suicide Charley Company, 1/7 Marines 0331 - M60 Machine Gunner August 1968 March 1969.  I am a Purple Heart Veteran - Through and through gun shot wound. Total Left Hip replacement.  Agent Orange - Type 2 Diabetes, Heart Quadruple by-pass surgery, the instillation of 12 stents, Assorted Scars, Broken Left Leg. VA PTSD Rated at 70%. Semper Fi, and God Bless you and yours.  Richard A. Weiss. [mailto:gruntweiss@yahoo.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

32) April 8, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) I read your message (Warrior’s Code) twice and it sure hit home. The part that really hit the nail on the head was pre-Vietnam "friends" are now acquaintances.  I work part time with a group of guys my age - 70- and there are four of us that are Vietnam vets.  We tend to stick to ourselves because as you know, no matter how hard you try to explain Vietnam, unless you were there you can't understand it.

I was in I corps with fox 2/7 1st Marine Division. I got in country 9-66 and was medevaced 9-67.  Our company has a reunion every other year and about 60 to 70 of us from fox 2/7 from 1965 to 1973, and even Korean fox 2/7’ers attend. We do go out on tours and dinner cruises so our wives have something to do. We all sit around and talk about 'nam. I find it cathartic talking about it. We understand each other as no one else can.  Vietnam has left an indelible mark on all who served there. I am proud to have served in the United States Marine Corps and would never give up what I did.  I got 2 purple hearts and am damn proud of my service.  Thanks.  Semper fi till I die.  John MontMarquette [mailto:johnm607@prodigy.net] Purple Heart Medal recipient.

 33) April 12, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) Hi, I am the (deleted) third wife of a Vietnam veteran. We are separated now. He is in (location withheld), visiting the Base, seeking comfort and friendship from young Marines.  He was the one who forwarded to me your very open and very moving writing.  It gave real insight and a helping hand to understand (him).  My first emotions were very compassionate and understanding.  He enlisted with the Marines at the age of 19, spent 6 months in camp, 6 months in Vietnam and 6 months in hospital.  He endured a terrible war for 6 months living by The Warrior's Code of Honor.  His odds of survival were minimal, he saw his buddies die, and then got badly wounded. 
          (Negative personal details of what PTSD did to him, and negative personal details of the marriage deleted).  So to put it briefly, human morality is just as important in a man's life as the Warriors Code of Honor. You can't hide behind one to escape the other.  Regards (name withheld) [magyaraussie@gmail.com]

            (INPUT FROM WRITER.  wow!! when she said, "human morality is just as important in a man's life as the Warriors Code of Honor. You can't hide behind one to escape the other," she really NAILED it!!, which is why I am posting her wonderful words here).

 34)  April 13, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer)  Your Warrior’s Code could have not said it better.  I enlisted 7/14/47 in the Marines and served aboard the USS Helena CA75.  I did three enlistments and was discharged 7/13/50.   I was in the reserve and got recalled for Korea.  My fighting was from 2/15/51 till the ceasefire talks ended.  Then I was sent to Pusan to the hospital ship then to Japan.  I wear the Korea ribbon with 3 stars, had 3 close calls but don't wear the purple heart.  One day I chased 20 (enemy) across a ridgeline with a 30 cal. machine gun at 1000 yards, 13 didn't make it, and I was hitting some of the others on the far side said a spotter plane, so I don’t know how many I really got.  Al Dale[mailto:adale29@gmail.com]

35) April 13, 1936
 “There is no hunting like the hunting of man.  And those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.”  
Ernest Hemingway, "On the Blue Water," Esquire, April 1936.

36)  April 14, 2012.  A good friend of mine and I share a combat (PTSD) group at the V.A.  Your writing sobers me and I appreciate the thoughtfulness of it.  I was in Vietnam in 1969, in the Air Force but mostly with the Army on a Forward Air Control team supporting the 9th Infantry.  I don’t know if you are familiar with the Forward Air Controller team, but I was the one down on the ground getting the fast movers, ordnance and my FAC pilot together to put in air-strikes.  I don’t like it when people say I had it easy because I was in the Air Force.  PTSD bothers me and I consider Vietnam to be more about the 9th Infantry than the Air Force.  I have memories of stressful situations, and my good friend has a Purple Heart.  I’m thankful I don’t but have the utmost respect for those that have.  I have life memberships with the DAV, VFW, and VVA.  I have held local commanderships in all three.  I can very well associate myself as being an adrenalin freak when I returned from Vietnam.  I tried to see how fast I could go when entering and exiting the freeway, seeing how much I could squeal the tires.  I also free-climbed the Grand Canyon, etc.  Thanks for your service.  Bob.  [mailto:rdebes@roadrunner.com]

           (REPLY BY WRITER 4/14/12.  Hey Bob, I don’t blame you for getting pissed when people think you had it easy because you were in the Air Force.  The air controllers who fought with me in Korea sometimes got blown away like us Army dogfaces. the writer).

37) April 17, 2012  The Mine Explosion – Continued
The article in the Winter edition of River Currents had the article titled  “The Mine Explosion”. Boy did it bring back memories that I had long since forgotten – like the mosquito’s, the heat and humidity, and the action that those of us there encountered with Charlie. In addition to what was already covered in the original article here is what I remember.
I was on the CCB mentioned – although it wasn’t CCB-152-1, it was CCB-131-1. I (Pete Oakander) was the radioman on board. The Boats was Frank Dettmers, The gunners mate was Rich Lierman, the engineman was Jim Zervos, and our coxswain was Bob Land. We had some others but their names escape me now. I do remember the long transit down canals and jungle that none of us had gone down before. We were not sure if we could make it. One of the events that I do remember once we got on station was running into a modified tango boat that the Seals had. They were operating down in the Song Ong Doc by themselves – mixing it up with Charlie – a ballsy bunch of guys – and how they got down there only they know. It was the first time I had ever seen a mini-gun in action. They had this 3 barrel mini set up in a turret amidships of their boat and gave us real show by letting it rip. Down in the SOD every direction was a free-fire zone so it was just point and shoot. The other thing I will never forget is their liquor supply. I don’t remember how that subject came up but we swabs do like our booze and the selection they had was like going to your local liquor store. We didn’t indulge as we were on patrol and it was during day light which doesn’t make sense now as we normally operated at night – but hey that was 40 years ago.

That fateful day – October 23rd, 1969 – when the mine went off. Here is what I remember. There were about six or seven boats. We were all beached bow forward and all lined up in a row next to one another as the original article pointed out so that we could walk between boats and stay off the beach and out of the mud. The Mike boat was on our port side and the Tango on our starboard. It was mid day. Charlie boats were the only boats in the force that had air conditioning that I was aware of.  They were there to keep the bank of radio’s and the officers happy. Each Charlie had two Lister generators whose sole purpose was to keep the air conditioners running. The below deck operations compartment had four air conditioners. One of the Lister’s no longer worked and the remaining one was on its way out too. It only had enough power to keep one of the air conditioners running – barely. But down there in that heat and in the middle of the day it was a real bennie. To keep the generator from having to work any harder than it had to I made sure that the hatch for access topside was dogged down good and tight.  I personally took a sledge hammer to it to keep it shut because the crew kept trying to access the compartment through that hatch and let all the cool air out. The only other way was to access it via the coxswain flat or from the engine room - both of which were usually avoided. It was noonish – I was sitting on the raised supposedly concussion proof platform on the deck of the compartment, listening to a little East West by Paul Butterfield on my headphones and just beginning to write a letter home when KABOOM!!! – all hell broke loose. There were a bunch of us down in there taking advantage of the cool air the air conditioners were providing. It was weird because the compartment went pitch black and yet I could see everything and everyone. The blast pitched me into the air and head first into a single side band radio that was on its way back to the deck. I got to my feet and went to the dogged down hatch and threw the dogs open by hand and pushed like hell to get the hatch open. Up top it was havoc. There was a bunch of stuff piled on the hatch and bodies lying everywhere. We had a contingent of Vietnamese Navy guys who were on board as a part of the Vietnamization program. I worked my way to the stern of the boat and the force of the concussion caused all the fire extinguishers to release. Too bad because as I work my way to the stern to look down into the engine room I passed some fires that were ignited and the engine room was a cauldron of smoke, water, and battery acid. The 671’s were split in two at the transmission. The batteries were all split open. The magazine was wide open and ammo everywhere all while water was pouring in. Within minutes the stern was on the bottom. We got the fires out and then turned our attention on the Mike boat and the Tango. It was the Tango that was in the most trouble. I remember the Tango being tied on to our boat and it was starting to turn over onto its port side. Guys were down in the well deck and scrambling like crazy to get out. I remember one of the guys who didn’t make it out when the boat turned over. We were all yelling like crazy and then his head popped out of the water. The Mike boat took a big hit too but it being so heavy it held its own although it did sink stern first too. It was amazing that no one got killed because as I remember there were people in the water. But after reading the original story – the guys I saw in the water were probably Dale Walker and Don Blankenship who got pitched in.  I also recall though that there were some of the VN Navy guys in the water swimming around. There was a lot of confusion. One of the first things we had to do – and it wasn’t our radios on the CCB that were used – all junk - was to call the hit in and get some helo’s down there and set up a perimeter. Charlie had to be sitting out there somewhere watching the show. The Doc who was with us started gathering those that needed to be medivaced out and pointed at me to get in line. My reaction was why? He says – don’t you know. I say – know what? He says – the back of your head is split open and you need attention. I say – can you do it – I don’t want to leave the boat. He says – yea and stitches me up. My adrenalin was going strong enough that I didn’t even feel the stitches. Once the helo’s arrived and got all those needing to get the injured out – the rest of us got to work doing what we could to get things back together. The sunk boats – Tango, Charlie, and Mike – weren’t going anywhere. We got through that night and the next day one of the boats made its way down the Song Ong Doc to the coast where either the repair ships Satyr or the Askari were anchored in support of our operation. Don’t remember which one it was. To get us all afloat was going to take a bunch of pumps and the plugging of a bunch of holes. We got Charlie 1 floated and water tight enough to get us towed down to the repair ship where they immediately lifted us out of the water and put us on a barge. The ships crew welded up all the holes and buttoned up the boat. This is when we learned that the possibility existed that Charlie 1 and its whole crew was going to be sent to Subic to get the ship repaired. Naturally we were all excited about that and the possibility of getting out of Nam for awhile. For the time being they put Charlie 1 back into the water and hooked her up to one of the inter-coastal re-supply ships for a tow back to Vung Tao. I don’t remember the name of the ship. The whole crew went along for the ride and it took a couple of days to get around the tip of Vietnam and back up the coast to the mouth of the Mekong. We arrived there during an afternoon and the ship anchored there for the night. We of the crew had to maintain an anchor watch on our boat. I happened to be on watch that afternoon and noticed that the bow of our boat was starting to lift out of the water. I ran like hell up to the bridge to report the situation and then the Captain and I ran back to the stern. We got there just in time to see Charlie 1 sink – with only its bow sticking out of the water. It was decided that an air pocket was keeping the bow above the water line. Now what to do? Well a bunch of messages back and forth and the decision came down to cut Charlie 1 loose and leave her there.  I think we may have put out a marker buoy and then we headed to Vung Tao. That was the end of the story. They helo’d us back to Dong Tam – no trip to the Philippines – and the crew was split up to man other boats. I ended up becoming one of the staff radiomen for RivDiv 13 and was stationed in Dong Tam for a while before they moved the squadron headquarters out to the Benewah. I stayed there right up until the day of the invasion into Cambodia when the Benewah and all the boats headed up river to the border to go after Charlie.

 There were actually two lessons learned with this event. The original article mentioned one of them – the spacing of beached boats – the further apart the better to avoid mine damage. The other and even more important was the fact that the squadron made the error of beaching in the same spot twice. The mine must have been placed after the first night beach. Had to be or Charlie wouldn’t have know where to place it. He did so on the assumption and hope that we would beach again at the same spot. He lucked out. Or, Charlie had some swimmers who somehow got the bomb in place while the boats were in place – I gotta believe that that could never have happened.

 As one of the staff radiomen I was privileged to see a lot of radio traffic come across my desk. Months later, while on the Benewah, two messages came across about Charlie 1. The first was that it was determined by EOD that it had to be at least a hundred pounds of explosives to do the damage that was inflicted to the boats. I agree with Don Blankenship though – it sure seemed like a lot more than that to lift the sterns of a Tango, a Mike, and a Charlie boat clear out of the water. And cracking a 671 diesel in half ain’t no easy feat. The second was that the Navy sent a group of divers down to check Charlie 1 out and they couldn’t get a good look as a family of Moray eels had taken up residence and they decided to leave well enough alone. That was the last I heard of her and to this day she may still be a navigation hazard at the mouth of the Mekong. I don’t know what medals those of us who were there got – but once I got back home and was attending reserve meetings – I think a lot of us on the boats were reservists – especially radioman – I was notified that I was to receive the Purple Heart and the Navy Commodation Medal for my services. I am more proud of having received them today then I was then – back then all I wanted was out and to get on with my life.
Pete Oakander [poakander@msn.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

38) April 17, 2012  (material in brackets supplied by writer).  Well said, and it (Warrior's Code) says it all. 
          #1. Reading the code it fits my life since 1967 to a "T". The only people I associate with are "combat veterans". My best friend, other than my wife, I met in Viet Nam, went to college together and we communicate daily and see each other as often as possible even though we live 150 mile from each other. We both have issues with people. I'm 67 years old and I am still an "adrenaline junky", and I love it. I drive 50 miles to work daily and death rides shotgun with me as I travel a very dangerous stretch of the interstate system. Though I walk through the valley in the shadow of death I will fear no evil because I'm the baddest MF in the valley. 
            There are many more things (in the Code) that fit me. 
             In 1966 on the main street of my home town I was called a "Baby Killer" by a person I went to high school with. Except for my wife, our families, and fellow veterans, no one knew I was a veteran until 2001. 
            I go to monthly meetings with the VA Shrink just to keep me from going to the dark side. He is a veteran and he understands. 

         #2. I met my wife in 1968 and I glommed on to her because she smiled at me and would talk to me. Most civilians wouldn't bother, or I should say, I avoided them. But I was running drunk then and I knew I wasn't going to last, but that girl held out her hand and I grabbed it. She still holds on and I know it hasn't been easy.

           #3. I was a corpsman with D Company, 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, 3rd Marine Division - My Brothers, all of 1965 and part of 1966.  I was also with Lima Company, 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines, 3rd Marine Division.
            I did one cruise aboard the USS Constellation CVA-64 before returning to the Marines at Camp Pendleton California.  They wanted me to re-enlist and go back to VN, but I had enough. I almost went back when I graduated from the university but by then I had a family coming and thought I had to support them as best I could. I wished I would have gone back as I feel as I have left something undone.  Doc D/1/3/3
            That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I should say - that's all I'm going to say.
John Harrison [mailto:john.harrison@wyo.gov]

39)  4-19-12 (material in brackets supplied by writer).  Dear writer of the Warrior's Code.  My brother does not have a computer so I am writing for him.  He was in Viet Nam and found your article (Warrior’s Code) right on. He copied it and sent it family, friends and many vets.  By now over 100 people have read it.  Your article was important because it applies to all wars.  My brother would tell people you had to read it at least 3 times for it to really be understood.  He is 100% disabled and gives back by working with the vets at the VA.  Your article has more than made an impression on so many people.  My brother senses compassion in you.  As he said,, you hit a home run.  Not many can do this with a pen and he commemorates you.  This is a gift from the dear Lord.  Thank you for writing it.  I also have another brother who was in VN at the same time, and had been shot, but did not apply for the Purple Heart.  Both my brothers are amazing souls.
Sincerely,  Cathy Race.  Middletown, Ct.[mailto:syncopate2000@yahoo.com]

 40)  April 20, 2012  Greetings from Scotland. On my travels through the internet to help serve the veterans in the UK I came across your code. I am an ex vet from South Africa and although I did not see any 'live contact' action in Angola I only came to realise that more than twenty years later I had been battling on my own with the now labelled PTSD.
          Luckily or divinely I met a First Nations Veteran in Scotland who was on a 'medicine' path to bring peace and all nations together. Through some of the Ceremonies and years of friendship and support that grew from that I am now in a position, in hindsight to be of service to ex vets in the UK. I am doing this in my own small way and have just launched this initiative with the website - www.ptsdhealing.co.uk.
         
I would very much like to create a page with your Warrior's 'Code of Honour' on it to help civilians get a deeper understanding of what our returning soldiers and families are going through. May I please?
Thank you for going through the 'dark night of the soul' and bringing back this gold from the shadow lands. May peace be in your heart and mind.  Jason. [mailto:jason@ptsdhealing.co.uk]

          REPLY BY WRITER 4/20/12.  Hi Mister Jason, as we say here in New Orleans.  I would be honored to have you make a page on your website for my Warrior's Code of Honor.  Feel free to circulate my work, but not my name.
With respect,
the writer (name withheld).

41) April 20, 2012.  No truer words were ever written. Thank you for writing this. Kevin Howell 1stSgt USMC (Ret.d) 4 Purple Hearts. [mailto:kevinsharon@embarqmail.com] Purple Heart Medal Recipient

42) April 20, 20112.  (material in brackets supplied by writer). I just completed reading your script (Warrior’s Code of Honor) and I must say OUTSTANDING!  This is great and I would like to request permission to use this and parts of it in some of my writings.  I am a Christian and believe in what we call “Devine Intervention” for such a time as this meeting .
          I am the author of the book "The Angel Of Death.” In my book I call PTSD the Cancer of The Soul.  I'm also on Facebook as John Blehm SR and you can find comments about my book there as well.    
          I'm in the process of writing a second book which is about Post Traumatic Stress which I acquired in 1969 while in Vietnam for 19 months.  I have 3 Purple Hearts and 2 Bronze Stars and a few other medals etc. etc.  That was in 1969 and 1970 but I was not diagnosed with PTSD until 1997.  By then a lot of water under the bridge because of Vietnam and God has given me the wisdom to speak into other soldiers and their families about what has happened to them. They listen because I'm one of them.  So that's what I do now. It's not about me being famous or anything like that it's about helping other vets so they don't go through what I’ve been through.
Again a job well done. 
God bless  John Blehm [mailto:jblehmsr@gmail.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

          (REPLY BY WRITER .4/20/12.  Hi Mister John, as we say here in New Orleans.  Thank you for your kind words about The Warrior's Code.  Please feel free to use my work, but not my name. the writer.)

43) April 20, 2012. (material in brackets supplied by writer).  Dear fellow patriot:
Thank you for your profound statement (the Warrior’s Code of Honor). I believe that your statements are true and correct.  Many of the combat veterans whom I met since I retired from the service have not been able to talk with their loved ones about their combat experiences they have internalized.
             Since I served in many a battle in WW II, in battalion intelligence section I went on many patrols, not to engage the enemy in a fire fight, but to learn where the enemy is and what he is doing. That, of course didn't keep me out of fire fights.
            In Korea I served at a higher headquarters, thus not in direct enemy contact. Nevertheless, my team was very productive in collecting information. 
           During the Vietnam conflict I taught soldiers and marines who had the opportunity to question enemy combatants how to understand the mentality of the enemy.

 On Anzio beachhead (WWII) we had quite a few of our young troops get scared and hid in the rear. It was necessary for us who understood the indoctrination given to the members of the "Master Race" to explain to our forces what propaganda was used by the Germans to indoctrinate their troops and broadcast seducing messages to our soldiers. Unfortunately that had not been part of our basic training curriculum. The honor earned by a soldier in combat by holding and effectively firing goes hand in hand with the loyalty to ones fellow soldiers.

 Interesting that you mention survivor guilt feelings. A psychologist asked me once if I had such feelings because my parents were killed at Auschwitz while my father had sent me to the U.S.A. before most of the killing started. I have no such feelings. I came to a safe place and carried on our family name. I tried to help some to survive in battle and did not always succeed.  I speak of my world.  I did the best I could under the circumstances. We cannot change the past.
          People these days ask me if I ever get excited about something. I tell them "Yes I do" when someone shoots at me.  They don't seem to know what it is like to get that adrenaline rush. I think that they are inflating the word value of "exciting".
         As editor of our chapter's newsletter I will share your words with our members. I am anxious to see what, if any, response we get.  My best wishes to you and yours in patriotism.
Ernst Selig.  [Ernst21641@netzero.com]

44)  4-21-12  (material in brackets supplied by writer) I send with honor to he who wrote it (the Warrior’s Code); I dare not try to add a thing!! It speaks volumes, Just as is!! Some of us may understand it best as a Warrior themselves, others as Combat Supporters of those Warriors, & some very little, not having ever been in uniform, still others, as dependants/loved ones/friends of Warriors in a far different, but VERY real way. We all need to find a way to somehow better understand, respect & treat those Warriors we know & encounter!! r./ T.Dye, Major, USAF(Ret.) [mailto:Dyetf@aol.com]

 45)  April 22, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer).  Dear Sir, I am a combat veteran that served in Viet Nam as a Marine radio man.  I want to thank you for the combat veteran’s code; I could have never expressed it so well, although my feelings are the same as yours. It is so hard for me to get my family to understand that I am not the same shy boy that went off to war.  I will have them read this (Warrior’s Code), then they can take it from there.

Upon turning 18, I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps.  In September of 1967 I was in Viet Nam as a field radio operator.  My unit was the 1st Mar. Div. Hdq. bn. comm. Co. radio plt. Our radio site on hill 200 was overrun during the 1968 Tet offensive.  During the rest of my tour I participated in operations Mameluke Thrust, Allen Brook, etc.

One of the things in the Warrior’s Code that struck me most was how true it is that we would be so disconnected from friends, family, and just people in general when we returned home from combat.  My old classmates were history.  When my loving parents picked me up at the airport, it was almost like riding home with strangers. I couldn’t wait to get home, get out of my uniform and go get drunk. After getting out of the Marine Corps, the adrenalin high you spoke of was missing, but how do you reach that pinnacle in civilian life?

I could only feel comfortable around my vet buddies, and there were plenty of us. It was only after three marriages, thoughts of suicide, and behavior that I look back on as shameful, that I sought help from the VA in 2000.  If not for that, I really don't know where I would be.  I get along now, with the help of my wife, god bless her. I don't know how she has stuck by me all these years, through the nightmares, getting slugged in her sleep, or me waking her up by my screaming.  I still don't like going to social functions, I'm not much for small talk.  I hope this brief synopsis of my time in the Corps, and being a civilian can help a veteran. If there is anything else I can do to help, please call on me. Thank you very much.  john c. mcalister. [mailto:johnmac@neo.rr.com]

           REPLY BY WRITER 4/23/12.  Mister John, thank you for your brutally honest and very moving feedback.  I do not think there will be a dry eye in the combat vet audience who read it. 

1)  On a personal level, your powerful words have prodded me to finally explain in detail the combat vet feedback healing system from my point of view, something I should have done a long time ago.  So here goes:
            a- Vet one’s feedback is like an arrow shot up to the website, hitting a group of combat vets in the audience who have life experiences similar to vet one’s; 
            b- Vet two’s feedback arrow hits a different group of combat vets who have life experiences similar -- not to vet one’s -- but to vet two’s; 
            c- and so on, each feedback arrow hitting a different group of combat vets. 

2)  When the combat vet audience sees another Warrior sharing what struck him as familiar when reading the Warrior’s Code, what struck him as familiar when reading the feedback from other combat vets, this FAMILARITY grabs the audience’s attention.  It works like this:
            A) Assume that Vet six’s feedback arrow hits your audience group and you see your own combat demons/PTSD caused behaviors.  Common examples are: drinking; drugging; risky but thrilling activities; dangerous but thrilling life style; thrilling unfaithfulness to your mate, thrilling multiple marriages, etc.  Suddenly you realize that your situation is not un-usual, but the usual, and you are OK.  
            B) Such awareness/realization/understanding of your OKness yields a measure of blessed serenity.  The message can be boiled down to six words:
                         
            SAW DEMONS, SANK SAME, SERENITY GAINED
             
3) It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that the Warrior who shot the particular feedback arrow which caused this happy outcome has once again helped out like he did back in battle. So, the more feedback the better. 

4)  This step by step explanation of the combat vet feedback healing system does not attempt to make OK the PTSD caused behavior of combat veterans.  As the wonderful woman in feedback number 33) above said, “Human morality is just as important in a man’s life as the Warrior’s Code of Honor.  You can’t hide behind one to escape the other.” 
            This explanation is merely a description of how the feedback section has enabled combat vets to see that they are just one fish in a whole ocean of battle-rattled Warrior fish doing similar PTSD caused behaviors.  The OKness they get from this realization often becomes a platform they stand on to gird their loins for the battle with themselves for behavior change. 

 In closing, Mister John once more you have served with honors your fellow combat veterans.
Plus you have taught me to spell out in detail what I have been glossing over with generalities.
I salute you and thank you.  the writer.

46)  [A] From: GEORGE SCHNEIDER
To: poakander@msn.com
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 7:26 AM
Subject: WARRIORS CODE OF CONDUCT
Hello Pete, my name is George Schneider and I am a Marine who was awarded three Purple Heart Medals while serving as a grunt in Vietnam.  I have as of today found over 230 Marines that served in my unit, Delta 1/7 Marines.  I am the founder of the Delta 1/7 Vietnam 1965-1970 Marines Association.
            I am asking your consideration to use the contents of your E-mail I have received on our Delta 1/7 Vietnam Marine Veterans web-site. I would also like to use it to possibly have it published in our local newspaper. This writing is a wonderful way to explain exactly who we are, not only to us combat veterans, but also to our families, friends, neighbors, and others in our communities.
            Please consider giving me your blessing and permission to use this written works of the Warrior's Code of Conduct.
Thanks, take care, welcome home, and Semper Fi. 
Your veteran combat brother, George

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother;"

[B] From: Pete Oakander [mailto:poakander@msn.com]
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 10:32 AM
To: GEORGE SCHNEIDER
Subject: Re: WARRIORS CODE OF CONDUCT

George
You have complete freedom to use the Warrior’s Code of Honor in any way you wish. The whole idea is to get the Code out there any way we can. The author - who wants to remain anonymous - has given me his blessing so you have mine. Our aim to get it out there is working as you got my email address from someone because you were not on my distribution list. If at all possible please send me back the article or the link so we can add it to the list of how it got distributed and where.
Yours in Patriotism
Pete

            [C] REPLY BY WRITER 4/23/12.  Pete, my thanks to you and Mister George for helping spread the word about our Warrior’s Code.
With respect, the writer (name withheld).

 47)  5/4/12  (material in brackets supplied by writer) This (Warrior’s Code) was written extremely well. It says it all. I could not find any negatives.  The part that struck me the hardest was that I made it home, while wounded, but many in my platoon did not. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of their ultimate sacrifice.
            It took me 40+ years to talk about the war, which I shared with other Nam vets. I posted this code on our regiment message board to share with my comrades. Everyone that read the Code was very much touched by the meaning of its content. Thank you.
Dominic Mish  2/2 HHC-RECON PLT 1ST INF DIV.Viet Nam - 1966-1967 [mailto:mishdominic@yahoo.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

 48)  5/4/12  I have just now read the Warrior’s Code and am breathless as it is talking about me.  I will read it again and give it time to process.  I have PTSD, two Purple Hearts from Nam with the Marines.  Currently, meeting with therapist weekly at V.A. trying to come to grips with just one of my traumas.  Finding this at this time was meant to be and I appreciate it.  Semper Fi.   Steve Bozeman, Lynchburg, VA.  [mailto:ironcouple.sdb@juno.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

49)  5/6/12  The WARRIOR’S CODE Makes Sense!...Put's things into Perspective as only a ''Warrior'' would know..  We, as ''Warriors'' must remember this,..

We Fought the Enemy and came home,..We found that the ''Enemy'' was still with Us,..the Enemy was 'US!'' and the 'Beast' was hungry,..

 We came home to a Nation that ''Turned Her Backs'' on Us,...We Became 'Shadow Soldier's''  We 'Talked',..

No One Heard,..We 'Walked,'.but No One Saw Us..We Cried and No one Listened...

 TODAY,..Thank's to Our ''New Warrior's',...We are No Longer ''Shadow Soldier's',  and can AGAIN be PROUD of Our Service,..It's a Time to put the ''BEAST'' to Sleep!.

 Your ''WARRIOR CODE'' is the 'BED' to put it on!...''WELL DONE!'' ''WE WALK IN PRIDE''...

On a personal note, I was a Marine Sgt.. with the ''First Battalion, 7th. Marine's, First Marine Division,...The ''106'' Recoilless Rifle Platoon, attached to ''Suicide Charlie'' Company,...featured in the H.B.O. Series ''Pacific''

I am a 2 Time ''Purple Heart Recipient,..Lost a Leg,...Shot in the Face,..[ I didn't Duck!'' ]  Left side paralyzed and lost the other 'kneecap'  Had 'Hand to Hand' Combat also,..''Scary ''Poop''.....You and I,..We ate the same Dirt,..We like others, some more,..some less...

Go to the ''FEAR'' Video in My Web-Site.  Thats My Pic. on the Cover of the video,..Deep in the Jungles of Viet-Nam,.1968,..

In closing, the Code is ''OUTSTANDING'' THANKS...Pastor Frank.
 frank orzio  [mailto:woundedwarriorministries@yahoo.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

               (REPLY BY WRITER 5/6/12.  Hey Mister Frank, as we say here in New Orleans, I have visited your website at www.woundedwarriorministry.com. and found it magnificently done.  It has many interesting facets and the music – outstandingly appropriate.  I saw your pic and you sure looked like a 4-B to me.  What is a 4-B you ask?  Biggest Baddest Baboon on the Block!  The writer).   

 50) May 14, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer). Dear Sir, regarding (the Warrior’s Code) I have just finished reading my first iteration (repetition).  I say first iteration because I, after reading it the first time, knew it would require subsequent readings and thoughtful analysis.  I am a veteran with 26 years (of service) who has never experienced firsthand the difficulties and demands of combat.  I have never had the "unfortunate" honor of preparing to give my all for the battle buddy next to me; I have only told myself I would be ready no matter what. 
          I write to you to thank you…for this great insight into the combat vet.  I work as a (civilian) safety manager for Army Forces Command and see and read on a daily basis the struggles that combat vets are succumbing to.  Yes, the adrenalin rush that leads to the fast bikes, high speed driving, substance abuse and ultimately, very, very sadly, the "accidental death" of those warriors.
          Please know that I will spread these words of, not wisdom, but understanding for I feel this is a portion of what we need to stop, or at least slow down the loss of our heroes.
Thank you very much.     Gabriel, Mario JR CIV USARMY FORSCOM (US)
Aviation Safety Program Manager, Safety Awards Manager, U.S. Army Forces Command -Ft. Bragg [mailto:mario.j.gabriel.civ@mail.mil]
Complacency..... Just because it hasn't happened.... doesn't mean it isn't about to. 

 51) May 14, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer) Concerning the Warriors Code, while I don’t know who you are I can sincerely appreciate what you wrote.  I really do admire the fact that you could put into words the things I have felt for forty plus years.  Yes, I was there (Viet Nam) in 1968, 1969 and 1970.  I did thirty months service time, but only flew 16 combat missions. I can’t discuss the missions, but I can relate to every thing you had to say... A sincere “Thank You” for your service and your Warrior’s Code.
Sincerely, Louis Kline
USN [mail to: ljsklin@bresnan.net]

 52) May 15, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer). To 10625@cox.net.  This is what I sent to my wife after reading the Warrior’s Code of honor.  I need to say thank you.  I plan on re-reading this again and again.  It is long, but you should read it when you can.  Read it only when you can have the time to hang on every word like I did.  It is important.  However this guy wrote this, I am glad he did.  I am envious and scared I will never understand as clearly as he has, but yet he has, so maybe I can too.  
            War stories are not measured like dicks.  It only takes one moment to change a person forever, but the longer you are in the fire (of combat), the more you know, and the deeper you get (in PTSD).  The writer is right.  How can you know what your emotions are doing if you cannot feel, or feel the way you used to know? 
            Sometimes you hide behind other vets hoping in a weird, sick, and shameful way that maybe their experiences were worse, somehow normalizing yours.  Maybe it is not hiding; maybe it is more like holding on as tight as you can hoping they will drag you somewhere better.  Maybe you are just hoping that while you are in their presence they will say something that you yourself cannot.  I wish guilt was in the category of feelings that get shut off and shut down.  I do not think that is fair.  I think this author figured that out and got past it.  I feel like the answer is in his words. 
            I am an Iraq vet.  What war you fight in does not matter. What happened, who died, and when are just a matter of names and dates, but the feelings are the same for all wars and the change is forever.  War fighting has changed 180 degrees just since 2003 out of necessity, as most change is spawned.  We now have body armor that is being scrutinized for being too good -- double, triple, quad amputees with no eyes or ears etc. 
           I am personally drawn to the Vietnam combat vets simply due to the similarities of our enemies and wars.  10 years long, not knowing who the enemy is when they all look the same, booby traps, mines/IEDs, RPG’s, AK-47’s, RPK’s, using kids and women, kissing your ass by day and hanging rounds at you by night, not to mention the English teaching abilities of the muzzle of an M-16 just to name a few.  The Rosetta Stone will never be able to compete with orienting a weapon at someone with the correct tone of voice. Not everyone can say they sat with a Sheik and village cell Mayor eating flat bread and paying “foo money” for information.  The only way to test the information was to go run the route, or strategically fake a flat tire and see who came out to play. 
           I honestly feel a WWII or Korean War vet had better than me.  A defined enemy and enemy uniforms.  Not all the time I realize.  The Vietnam vets did not have this luxury much of the time either.  What I would not give to charge into battle one time and be able to say “there they are, shoot em.” Not having to wonder every time who had the cell phone in their pocket or the gun/suicide vest under the man dress.  I don’t know that I can argue which vets had it better or worse.  I believe the bond and brotherhood spans generations of vets, the bond the writer speaks of --  Honor. 
          I agree with the writer that the first shot in your direction kills the little boy -- or girl-- inside you, and mourning …trying to bring that person back, is just as hard on you.  You are mourning a loss of innocence and life as you knew it from that moment on.  You will not be the same and that realization is hard, fast, and hard to swallow.
            I suppose I am rambling now.  Maybe that helps.  I know that what you have written will help many.  I am one of them and I dearly hope my wife will be one too.  This was from my heart and my full name and unit are not important.  Thanks again. H2 Golf  (name & email address withheld at sender's request.  This email can be authenticated by the hard copy in my files.  the writer)

 53) May 16, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer). To 10625@cox.net  Thank you for taking the time and effort to put together such a breathtaking rendition of what combat is like, and also how it is to return afterwards.  Even 40+ years later the words take me back to the (Viet Nam) war and the aftermath.  My Purple Heart (Medal) brings with it the memories of the two others who were killed in the same booby trap incident.  For years the survivor’s guilt haunted me, until I found out my purpose for still being here and also that I am not alone with these feelings.  With your permission I would like to republish this (Warrior’s Code of Honor) in my newsletters.
Tom Hohmann
USMC 1968-1972
Viet Nam – Golf 2/5-1968-1969
Grunt/Radioman [mailto:tomh47@aol.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

            REPLY BY WRITER.  You have complete freedom to use the Code any way you wish.  The whole idea is to get it out there any way we can.  Use my words but not my name.  the writer.

54)  May 16, 2012.  (material in brackets supplied by writer). To 10625@cox.net.  Fellow warrior…I am humbled to read your essay on combat (the Warrior’s Code of Honor).  I too have your credentials; combat veteran from the Viet Nam war, purple heart (Medal) winner, and love of our great country.  I want to thank you for putting it down in words so that both of my sons were able to read it and grasp a new meaning on what we all endured.  Thanks for sharing, with all my respect, David Rothwell Sr.
L Company 75th Inf 101st Airborne Viet Nam 70-71 [mailto:muldoon1948@hotmail.com] Purple Heart Medal recipient

 55)  May 17, 2012.  My name is below and I was in touch with you some time ago about promoting the Warriors Code with the bikers group "Rolling Thunder.”  I don't know if you remember me or not. I was the guy that served with Co. E, 31st Inf. Regt., 7th Inf. Div. in 1951 and 1952.  I was the one who told you about being called the "Company's First Rifleman" instead of "Sniper".
            I have since written a book about my life and would like to use the Warriors Code in the book because I can without question speak for it's validity and how it would have saved so much agony in my life had I known about the coming home hell. I understand if you do not want me to put it in my book.  Thanks, Robert (Bad Bob) Lowery.
U. S. Army – Retired [mailto:rlowery13@sc.rr.com]

            REPLY BY WRITER.  You have complete freedom to use the Code any way you wish.  The whole idea is to get the Code out there any way we can.  Use my words but not my name.  I would appreciate you citing my website at [militarycodeofhonor.com] to keep me in the loop.  the writer.

 

                        FEEDBACK FROM A PTSD PROFESSIONAL

From:      Art Robb [arobb25@comcast.net]
Sent:        Monday, August 03, 2009 7:28 PM
To:          10625@cox.net
Subject:  Warriors Code of Honor

1)  Dear writer of The Warrior’s Code, my name is Art Robb.  I’m a Navy retiree who lost his father in WWII, and lost a brother (Vietnam Vet) to suicide due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Through a series of events, I became passionately involved in trying to help our returning Wounded Warriors, active duty and veterans. Over the years I researched and carefully studied PTSD, and while certainly not an expert, I believe I have a good understanding of the subject.
          I work for the CSRA Wounded Warrior Care Project in Augusta, Georgia (www.projectaugusta.org), developing a Warrior Care Team in our area.  We are a fairly new organization of highly motivated mostly Vietnam Vets dedicated to serving our wounded warriors.  We know how we were shamefully treated upon returning from war by an ungrateful nation, and we, like so many other Vietnam vets, have sworn a silent oath that we will never let that happen again.  

 2)  CAREGIVERS TREAT THE SYMPTOMS OF PTSD, NOT THE SOURCE
Since the beginning of warfare, PTSD has existed, but mostly undefined and untreated, even in our modern times.  As I researched PTSD, I discovered that most caregivers seem to be treating the symptoms, rather that the source. How can you successfully treat PTSD if you do not know the source?  
          To illustrate the importance of knowing the source of a problem, Louis Pasteur clearly identified the source of spoiled milk, beer, wine, etc. as being the growth of microorganisms, not “spontaneous generation” as was thought.
          Continuing this illustration, PTSD caregivers are working on "spontaneous generation" instead of the microorganism source.  To say this another way, caregivers are working on the refrigerator because the sink leaks.  No wonder it is difficult to find very many stories of success in treating PTSD. 

 3)  THE WARRIOR’S CODE IDENTIFIES THE SOURCE OF PTSD
This brings me to your Warrior’s Code of Honor.  I ran across it while researching all the various documents on the net.  Everyone from a General to a Private who has experienced combat has commented that your Warrior’s Code is right on target, and has helped them understand their own PTSD. But like all combat vets, they find it virtually impossible to talk about it, to “open up” to non-combat experienced clinical caregivers, which is the first step in the healing process.
          Your Warrior’s Code breaks this “code of silence” and clearly defines what happens to those who leave the safe civilian world and cross over into the terrifying, dangerous world of the combat warrior.  You provide invaluable insight into what fighting for your life does to the warrior’s heart, soul, spirit and mind. 
          I believe The Warrior’s Code is one of the most powerfully descriptive, straight forward documents which captures the very essence of the defining moment of traumatic transition from “soldier” to “combat warrior,” and most importantly, the beginning of PTSD, the source of PTSD. 
          Your exact description and/or identification of the source of PTSD has seldom, if ever, been documented before. 
          While I realize there are many forms of anxiety and stress associated with pre-deployment, deployment and return to the USA, the source of the most damaging and long term is the trauma of the defining moment of combat. 
          This defining moment is clearly identified and defined in your Warriors Code,  thus providing the detailed understanding of the mind of the combat warrior that was lacking before.  We now have the guidance necessary for unlocking the heretofore mysterious beginning and/or source of PTSD, thereby opening up the possibility for a cure.

 4)  NOW WE KNOW HOW TO TREAT PTSD
 I want you to know how much your Warriors Code of Honor has influenced our Warrior Care Team approach, especially the combat warrior-to-combat warrior mentoring phase.  Continuing the illustration above, our Warrior Care Team here in Augusta -- unlike most PTSD caregivers – do not waste our time working on the refrigerator because the sink leaks, we work on the leaky sink. 
         I believe the “leaky sink” (PTSD) must be fixed by a trained and certified combat warrior mentor, who works closely with and compliments professional clinicians, community reintegration workers and spiritual advisors; in short -- a multifaceted Warrior Care Team. This team should be a community-based program to compliment the Department of Defense and VA services and care models. 
          But Heads Up!  We need this approach NOW!

 5)  THE COMING TIDAL WAVE OF PTSD
Why is it vital to implement the Warrior Care Team concept in all due deliberate speed? Because most PTSD caregivers are overwhelmed by their current case load. What will they do when over 300,000 new returning veterans swamp and sink their already overpowered systems? 
         This is bad enough, but it gets worse. Redeployment rotation back into combat can be five or six times or more, spinning families into confusion and turmoil. According to published reports, there has been a 50% increase in children dependents seeking physiological treatment. The hard truth no one wants to talk about is that the PTSD problem isn’t only combat warriors, but also their families, thus creating a PTSD TIDAL WAVE! 
         This tidal wave of PTSD is gathering strength, and will soon come crashing down on our caregivers.  If the PTSD caregivers are overwhelmed now, what will happen when this hits?  The number of veterans suffering from untreated PTSD will skyrocket to the highest levels this nation has ever known.  We will have heartbreaking hordes of homeless veterans, veterans lost to substance abuse, and suicide in stunning, mind-boggling numbers.
          Our returning combat warriors deserve better than this.  Remember, freedom is not free – it is bought by the blood of our combat warriors.  Are we going to once again be an ungrateful nation and repeat the shameful treatment of returning combat veterans like we did Vietnam vets?          Or are we going to ready ourselves NOW for this holy crusade against the coming tidal wave of PTSD?        
          I respectfully suggest that the CSRA Wounded Warrior Care Project here in Augusta may serve as a model to be rapidly replicated nation-wide before the PTSD tidal wave hits.

 6)  TREAT PTSD BEFORE COMBAT AND BEFORE RETURNING HOME
As we continue to develop our local Warrior Care Team, a fact is emerging from the fog surrounding PTSD -- the best place to educate soldiers about PTSD is before they go into combat, rather than after returning to the United States.  PTSD becomes more resistant to treatment over time because the coping mechanisms developed and/or improvised by the PTSD sufferer become routinized and habitual. (We all know how hard it is to break bad habits, yes).
         Education and knowledge are powerful allies of our young warriors. If we educate  our warriors about PTSD before combat, they will know what to expect from battle, and what to expect when they return home.  This will give them the vitally important message that they are not alone, their new feelings from combat are the same as countless other warriors before them, their new feelings are justified… and they are OK!

 7)  WE HAVE A DUTY TO DEPROGRAM WARRIORS INTO CIVILIANS
We have a duty to work just as hard at deprogramming combat warriors into peaceful civilians as the military did at programming them into combat warriors. I personally feel our military could do more. They did an excellent job of creating warriors, and in my opinion, have a responsibility for deprogramming them into peaceful warriors who successfully reintegrate into society as happy and productive citizens.
          I am confident that by all working together we are making a difference. In conclusion, thank you very much for writing The Warrior’s Code of Honor, and “Welcome Home” Brother!
Art Robb

 8/4/09 Reply by writer
Dear Mr. Robb.  Thank you for your kind words about the Warrior’s Code.  And thank you for the detailed description of your work and how the Warrior’s Code helps out. 
          I recognize you as a True Believer in helping others, and words cannot express my admiration and gratitude for what you and yours are doing for us battle-rattled combat vets.
Signed, the writer (name withheld)


                                       WRITER'S NOTE OF GRATITUDE
Whatever good is done by this website would not have been accomplished were it not for my friend Helmut Paul Ermlich, Jr., a Man of Honor who keeps his word like a combat veteran.

 


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