A Coming Crisis
I am writing this note in an attempt to alert the American people about a coming catastrophe that is one of the most predictable crises in our Nation’s history, yet nobody talks about it.
It concerns our PTSD caregivers. They are overwhelmed now by their current caseload. What will happen when over 300,000 new returning combat veterans swamp our caregivers already overpowered systems? Add to that the fact that redeployment rotation back into combat can be shameful, five or six times more, spinning families into confusion and turmoil, resulting in a 50% increase in children dependents seeking psychological treatment. Thus our PTSD problem is not only combat warriors but also their families which when added together create a PTSD tidal wave.
This tidal wave of PTSD is gathering strength and is just now starting to crash down upon our caregivers. Yet the “Powers That Be” stick their heads in the sand and play “ostrich” to it instead of preparing for it. This govermental dereliction of duty is nothing less than a betrayal of our heroic Veterans and their families. No surprise here, this is what Putrid Politicians do.
This official betrayal means that vets suffering from un-treated PTSD will soon skyrocket to the highest levels this nation has ever known. We will have heartbreaking hordes of homeless veterans, veterans suffering from substance abuse and suicide in stunning, mind-boggling numbers.
Code of Honor
This coming American tragedy is one of the reasons I wrote the following passage in Writer’s Note (1): “Towards Accepting a Combat Vet’s Way of Being (Why combat vets are like they are, and how to connect with them).”
“To connect with a combat vet you must demonstrate/prove to him out in the open, in front of God and everybody that you too have a Code of Honor – that is, you also keep your word – no matter what! Do it and your twin Codes of Honor will twine around each other in double helix and bond you together. Do it not and you will not. This goes for everyone – especially wives and children – repeat: wives”.
I wrote those words in an attempt to show all people in general how to connect with combat vets at the present time and especially in the near future when vets suffering from un-treated PTSD will wander the streets dazed, dispirited and suicidal. They will need the help and understanding of ALL patriotic citizens. If you are one of those and wish to help out, I respectfully suggest that you start by rigorously keeping your word to him/her in small things and as opportunity serves, keep your word in bigger things and hopefully progress to a helpful bond.
The vet’s woman can take a little step that helps her man big time
That was in general. In particular I am attempting to speak to the combat vet’s woman at home regarding a very touchy subject that is taboo to talk about: her perceived fidelity in his eyes. Before battle he may have been a dignified, courtly gentleman who of course believed in her fidelity. After combat however, that guy is no more. He marched into battle and is gone forever, consumed in the flames of war.
Who came back may look like the guy who left, but inside is probably a secret savage beast from doing what he had to do to survive. This hidden beast part naturally has beastly thoughts and suspicions about everything under the sun because that is the mind-set you must have to survive war. Thus his suspicion will most likely include his woman’s fidelity.
It works like this. In all wars since the dawn of wars when a man discovers that his woman has been unfaithful back home, in a close-knit group such as a combat unit his buddies usually find out about it. It is only natural that they wonder about their own woman’s fidelity. They wonder about it but once: and that is continuously.
Question 1: How many men do not come home suspicious after living in the suspicion soup known as “combat?”
Answer: Few and none.
Question 2: How many men come home knowing they are suspicious? Are aware of it so they can watch out for it and control it?
Answer: Few and none because suspicion is part of PTSD and most combat veterans suffer from PTSD, do not know it, deny they have it, and thus deny their suspicion
The bad news is that this un-awareness/denial makes suspicion like an invisible snake coiled under the table, waiting to strike discord and disharmony in the home.
The good news is that the vet’s woman can take a little step that helps her man big time by ostentatiously demonstrating that she keeps her word in each and every little thing around the house. Seeing her rigorously keeping her word in all things goes a long way in reassuring his suspicious hidden beast part that this includes keeping her word of fidelity.
On the other hand if she is sloppy about keeping her word around the house, his hidden beast part may think this failing includes her fidelity, causing his suspicion snake to strike strife and sorrow – almost always not as suspicion but disguised as something else, some little thing, anything.
So woman why take this chance? Why not tighten your word up to lighten him up? Does he need such reassurance because he is a bad man, a weak man? No he is not; he needs it because he came home not bad or weak but hurt and suffering from war wounds – perhaps not on the outside but inside because, in timeless words of Jose Narosky:
“In war, there are no un-wounded soldiers.”
Understand The Warrior’s Mind
A word of warning. When your man comes home do not be fooled by his outside “Warriors Swagger.” Inside most combat vets come back tottering trying to tie the shattered and scattered pieces of themselves back together that were blown apart by battle. So to help your man, disregard his denial of PTSD and know that he needs you to keep on keeping on with the kids, house, school, etc. mostly by yourself for a while longer.
In closing dear long-suffering woman, can you find the compassion within yourself to give him the time he needs to re-assemble? I respectfully invite you to think on it.
Signed, Paul R. Allen
© 2013 by Paul Allen. All rights reserved